For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given

 I have had many different feelings about the first Christmas over the years.  As a child it was a fun story.  As I got older I understood it a little more.  The Christmas of 2004 was just a few weeks after the birth of our first child, and I felt then that I understood just how Mary must have felt as she held her tiny newborn baby in her arms.  How full her joy must have been, I thought.  I was pregnant with each of my other 3 babies during 3 different Christmases, and I felt that I could empathize with mary as she traveled a great distance on a donkey while large with child.  Her circumstances were less than ideal, and I felt for her physical pain.  I also knew that she endured that pain in anxious anticipation of the joy of his upcoming birth.  Soon, very soon, she would hold her baby in her arms and he would be hers.  I thought I understood it then.  This year, however, I think I understand a little bit more.  Mary knew that she was giving birth to a child who would not be hers to raise.  She knew he had a plan, and a purpose.  She knew he would die to save the world.  She carried that burden with her as she faithfully carried him in her womb.  She was no different than you or I.  She was a mother, she had a mother's heart, and she no doubt had hopes and dreams for the child that she carried.  She no doubt held him in her arms as a newborn and wanted to take away the pain that she knew he would experience.  She knew that he would be taken from her too soon, as this was his plan.  Yet she continued in faith.  Every year I learn a little bit more, understand a little bit more of Mary's role in the life of our Savior.  Every year my gratitude increases for her sacrifice.  For His ultimate sacrifice.  I am so grateful for the birth of our Savior, and for the greatest gift of all gifts that have been given to mankind, the gift of the Atonement.  I know that our family will be together again one day, and that we are sealed by bonds that death cannot break.  I know that I am not perfect, nor could I hope to be in this life, but by and through my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I can be made perfect, and can one day enter into the kingdom of heaven and rejoin my lost loved ones.  And hold my son again.  Because of Him my heart is full this holiday season, and I am grateful.