He was here, and then he just isn't anymore...

Since this IS my journal, I thought I'd record a little story that I wanted to remember, you don't have to read if you don't want to. :)

Matt has been working on a remodel for a friend of the family lately. He and a few of the other subcontractors he had hired spent a late night on the job the other night. The kind homeowners ordered them pizza, so they all stopped for a bit to eat and talk. Matt has a pretty loyal working relationship with his subcontractors, he pretty much uses the same ones over and over once he finds ones that he really likes. There was a tile guy named John who was there working that night. Matt had spoken highly of him, he had done several jobs for Matt and was a good craftsman, as well as a fun person to be around. They finished eating and talking that night, then they all went home. Matt told me later that he really enjoyed talking to John. Yesterday Matt called me on his way home from work to tell me that he had just gotten a phone call, John would not be finishing the job, the tile company would be sending someone new to finish the job, John had died of a heart attack that morning. "I can't believe it," Matt said, "we just sat there talking two nights ago eating pizza together, I mean, he was just here and just fine, and then he just isn't anymore. I mean, I really didn't even know him that well, but he was such a nice guy." Our hearts and prayers go out to John's family at this time. Now, I tell you this story to tell you of a lesson it taught me. None of us know how long we have here. Not a single one of us has an exact date and time. Now, I am a procrastinator. I always think I have more time than I do, and I procrastinate projects until the very end of the deadline. What about when there ISN'T a known deadline? I mean, there is one, we all have one, but we don't know when it is. Am I making the most of what I have, while I have it? Or, am I waiting until there's no time left? I think this gentle reminder hit home more with me because of Matt's parents' current health situation. They are doing well with their treatments, but we constantly worry about how much time we have with them. Why? If we make the most of every day that we have them, it doesn't matter how much time or how little time, we won't have any regrets. Do we want to know when so we can wait until the end? I hope not. Because, ultimately, we never know HOW much time. I have known a 70-year-old cancer patient who unwillingly survived for 10 years through the disease, while a friend was just riding down the the street at 20-years-old on a motorcycle and was taken instantly. We just don't know. Since we don't and won't ever know the exact day or amount of time, it IS up to us to make every day count, and to take advantage of every minute we have with those we love. Every card, every letter. Every phone call, every hug, every kiss. Each book we read to our children or grandchildren. Every word we say that could be our last chance. I say this not in grief or despair, but in an empowering moment of personal realization that we determine how MUCH we do in the unknown amount of time we have. We determine the impact that we have on those around us, and WE alone determine how we are remembered. So, here's to making it count, every minute of it. Today I vow to try a little harder to be a little better every day, and also to show my friends and family how much I love them and appreciate them more often (please don't judge me if it takes me some time to improve, change does take time!). Thanks to John for reminding me how precious life is.