I am grateful for waffles...

I have been without internet access for a week now (we switched service providers and the new one doesn’t connect until tomorrow), so that should explain my blogging/facebook hiatus. However, I was able to pirate somebody’s internet for a few minutes on my laptop and I felt I needed to record this, more for myself than for anyone who cares to read it, but read if you would like. A few weeks ago my next-door neighbor passed away very suddenly and tragically. He was exposed to a toxic chemical at work, came home not feeling well, and passed away a few hours later, leaving behind his wife and 3 young children. As a precaution, Hazmat crews and dozens of police officers were sent to the home to make sure that the chemical was not present there and that living conditions were safe. Since it was next-door, it was a traumatic and alarming experience for everyone. We understood early on that my neighbor (my kids know him as Tori’s Dad since their little girl Tori is McKinley’s age) was sick, so we explained that much to our kids as they watched all of the fire trucks and police cars with amazement. Later that evening we learned of Maurice’s passing. My kids have been fortunate enough to have had little experience with death thus far in their lives, aside from the goldfish incidents, which apparently had little impact on them. We took this opportunity to carefully explain to our kids that Tori’s dad died, and that he was okay and in heaven, but his family is very sad and will miss him very much. We explained in elementary terms the Plan of Salvation and that they would someday be able to see their daddy again, but that he would not be on earth anymore, so they would have to wait a long time to go to heaven and see him. I was not sure how much of this conversation actually sunk in, but I was glad that we had talked about it, and hoped that it would lead to future conversations as they had questions about life and death. The kids regularly remember Tori’s family in their prayers, and pray that their daddy will get better. I figured from their prayers that the concept of death and it’s permanence hadn’t really gotten through, so I would try to explain after their prayers that Tori’s daddy wasn’t sick anymore, that he felt better, but that he was not coming back home because he had died and gone to live with Heavenly Father. I gradually just let it go since it didn’t seem to be sinking in, and they continue to pray for Tori’s daddy to get better. Aside from his mention in their prayers, they haven’t asked any more about him, and the family has been staying with relatives so we have not had any real interaction with them in the wake of their tragedy. This morning at breakfast, out of the blue, McKinley asked me when Tori’s daddy would be coming home. Again, I patiently tried to explain that Tori’s daddy was not ever going to come home, but they didn’t need to be too sad because he is okay and they would see him again after they died. I explained that we needed to be extra good friends to Tori and help her when she feels sad, because it would be very sad to not have your daddy come home. She thought about it for a minute, then with real concern asked, “but Mom, who will make Tori waffles?” It was one of those moments that I don’t know if it’s the fact that I am hormonal and 9 months pregnant, but I couldn’t even answer as tears fell. I have tried since this tragedy to put myself in my neighbor’s shoes, to imagine going on with life without my husband, and I can’t even begin to fathom it. However, I tend to be practical, and think of the extremes. I imagine the pain of holidays alone and trying to explain it to my kids every day, I imagine the logistics of bills to be paid and life that has to move on through the loss, but I hadn’t even considered waffles. In my house daddy is the only one who can cook breakfast (I have tried, but I always fail miserably, I can’t cook decent pancakes, waffles, or eggs to save my life, so that is Matt’s thing, and we all LOVE Matt’s delicious breakfasts, especially breakfast for dinner). In my attempts to imagine what my sweet neighbor is going through right now I had neglected to consider that the hardest part would be the mundane everyday things that I take for granted. Someone to listen to my petty complaints about my day, someone to come home to, someone who loves us and who is there, even though often quietly in the background of life’s busy-ness, someone to live life for, and with. Someone who makes up for my shortcomings and loves me all the more for them, the one person who completes me (excuse the Jerry Maguire reference). Someone to make us waffles. I realized today in another one of those life-changing simple moments where my children teach me with wisedom beyond their years that I take too much for granted. I don’t express enough to my family how much I love them, how much I need them, and how much I appreciate them. Not in the big things, the vacations, surprises, gifts, and holidays, but in the everyday things that they do. I am grateful for my family, I am so grateful for a loving husband who listens to me, cares about me, and who is my partner and best friend in this life. And, I am grateful for someone to make us waffles. Our hearts and prayers continue to go out to the LaCayo family at this time.