Four.

In a conversation with a family member the other day I was lamenting the fact that I only have a few months left of my 20's (although 30 suddenly doesn't seem nearly as old as it used to :) It was a light conversation, and she encouragingly replied 'but look, you have 3 kids, and you aren't even 30.' I looked away as I held my tongue and blinked back tears and in my mind silently corrected her. Four. I have four kids. She didn't realize what she had said, she couldn't know how it stung. It wasn't her fault. And so I said nothing. There are so many hard things, but feeling like little Miles is forgotten, like the world has moved on without him, that is the hardest.