hard things

Sometimes I just have to tell myself that I can do hard things.  I made it through my son's funeral.  I wrote his story.  Now I have stared at the little bags of clothes that I had bought for Miles for the last 2 weeks.  I moved them to different locations, hid them, put them on the counter, and debated what to do with them.  I didn't need them, and they didn't really hold any sentimental value, there wasn't anything in those bags that I bought for Miles that I really loved.  I had friends who had offered to do my returns for me, but I felt like I needed to do it myself.  I know, it sounds weird, but for me it felt like part of the process, it was something I just needed to do.  Today I decided it was time to face it and do something hard.  I cried all the way to the children's clothing stores.  I cried when they asked the reason for my returns.  I cried all the way home.  But I did it.  I can do hard things.  I just have to keep telling myself that.